Being away, it's also dealing on an everyday basis with this feeling of guilt that you home might have troubles to understand. Yes, i left for certain reasons, I do not regret it and take full responsibility. But please, do not tell me that "being there, home, would make things easier to handle". Being home does not contradict the fact that you also might feel powerless and therefore guilty.
Physical distance means that I sometimes feel far away from my relatives, my friends, who experience a shit load of troubles. I look from far far away at them, sometimes worried, sometimes nodding in front of brave behaviours. I hope they know I will always be there for them. I admire them, I just regret they cannot physically place their head on my shoulder to rest, even for a few seconds.
To my dear friend (if by any chance you've ever come around), you might recognize yourself in my words. I miss you, I admire you, I pray for you.
Life's a bitch.
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