Sleepy Buildings, The Gathering

 

Happy New Year to all of you,

May 2014 be brighter than 2013 in all respects.

Smart Cities and Sustainable Development

In view of the Abu Dhabi Sustainability Week 2014, Masdar has asked bloggers to write about their vision of smart cities and sustainable development. Other contributions can be found on the Masdar Engage page. If you like my words, you will be able to support my application on the website.

“How can cities contribute to the advancement of sustainable development and address issues including water, energy and waste?”

I grew up, studied and worked in big cities from the Western world, where accessing clean water and energy is taken for granted. Mobility and education have never been a problem, and in most cases I only need to walk 5 minutes around my block to reach the first doctor or pharmacy, should I get scared of a little season cold. From birth I have been given chances that actually belong to a few only: education, health, water, energy, employment, transportation.

But I’ve travelled, I learned, I looked around and I listened. I have contemplated these chances and wondered how to use them for the greater good, and change the “I am lucky” into “WE are happy”. I have committed my studies and work into raising awareness, building knowledge, creating technical communications, and doing my best to share what I did not have to earn.

I am not going to preach about climate change here, as the facts are here; but with a majority of the world population living in cities, I believe that redefining the concept of urban development has become a must. 

There is no unique scheme to implement, no “best solution” to apply. Key words to express the goal are numerous: sustainable cities – smart cities – green cities. These concepts express the need to approach urban planning in a systemic way, in which everyone works hand-in-hand to create a new governance approach. Bring around the same table designers, politicians, architects, citizens, representatives of the industry, NGOs, Academia…and let them build our green future together.

Now, beyond terminology, there should be action, intelligent action, to implement change that matters, while respecting cultures, ethnicities and traditional urban structures. This is only possible if one engages in a continuous dialogue and learning process.

Technological connectivity (“e-services” included) and mobility for example are key factors that will only be effective if energy security can be guaranteed at all time. Access to basic social services and education will support community building, only if these communities have the regulatory and financial framework to allow equal access to these services to both girls and boys, women and men, poor and rich. Waste management can become “smart” not only if you help people apply the “R’s” (Reduce, Recycle, Re-use, Rethink, Repair…) but also and mainly if the infrastructure and facilities support waste collection, sorting and transformation. Connecting the environmental, social and economic “bubbles” of sustainability while keeping Brundtland’s definition in mind is a hard work which demands the attention and cooperation from everyone.

Cities connect people, institutions and minds. Of course we can all disagree, but we need to learn from each other and we need to act now. Cities concentrate knowledge and power, and can direct the relationship between urban and rural, reciprocal link that remains vital to guarantee safety and food security. Cities are the witnesses of our history, the carrier of our identities. They are the base to build from, and the obvious future we will experience. They are in a way the best “playground” to innovate, create, react. 

Cher Président

Cher Président,

j'ai pris un peu de temps avant de me décider de t'écrire. Je me suis même demandée si je devais t'écrire en français ou en anglais, sachant que je suis à plus de 6000km de la Capitale. Mais bon, il m'arrive parfois de profiter de toutes les occasions possibles pour pratiquer mon français qui parfois, j'ai l'impression, se détériore à force de ne penser ou ne parler qu'anglais.

Je te tutoie, j'espère que tu ne m'en veux pas? Je me suis dit qu'après tout, comme bon représentant des français et françaises sur le sol français et dans le monde, je dois bien pouvoir m'identifier à toi comme "citoyen normal", aussi Président sois-tu. La normalité, n'était-ce pas l'un de tes mots clé lors de ta campagne? Donc je te tutoie. Un jour peut-être je te vouvoierai. Ou peut-être pas.

Cher Président, si je t'écris cette longue lettre, c'est parce que je me sens mal dans ma peau. Ne te méprend pas, je ne compte pas faire de cette lettre une psychanalyse de ma vie au quotidien ni même un état des lieux de ma santé. Je souhaite juste partager avec toi quelques points qui me dérangent. Parlons franchement, puisque "toi, Président", tu es sensé être l'écoute de tes concitoyens.

Cela va bientôt faire 10 ans que j'ai quitté le territoire français. Je me considère encore comme "jeune diplômée", puisqu'avec mes 5 années d'expérience professionnelle (dont 6 mois de stage non rémunéré à l'étranger et quelques mois de pause involontaire dans mes contrats de travail), on regarder toujours mon Master comme le plus grand de mes accomplissements, alors que depuis j'ai travaillé dans des agences internationales renommées.

Sur ces 5 années, je n'ai jamais payé d'impôts en France. Je te rassure, je n'ai jamais fraudé: j'ai juste habité à 100% hors du territoire français, j'ai travaillé pour des organisations internationales, et j'ai habité dans des régions du monde où si je ne paye pas d'impôts, je risque de perdre mon emploi du jour au lendemain. Je n'ai jamais non plus cotisé pour ma retraite, si ce n'est en mettant de l'ordre dans mes finances privées et en garantissant un train de vie stable et modeste, tout en sachant profiter de la vie.

Mais voilà, Président, de mes 6000 km de distance je continue malgré tout de regarder ce qui se passe "à la maison", et non seulement je suis attristée, mais je me sens aussi parfois insultée. Et ce parce que je continue de m'inclure dans plusieurs cadres que l'opinion générale semble titiller de façon agressive.
Depuis des mois, je lis sans cesse des articles qui demandent pourquoi les jeunes diplômés préfèrent partir de France et s'installer à l'étranger. Tu devrais le savoir, la réponse est pourtant simple: on préfère partir de France et s'installer à l'étranger, 1/ parce qu'il y a du travail, 2/ parce qu'il y a de l'argent ailleurs, 3/ parce que mon diplôme y est reconnu, 4/ parce que j'ai des opportunités de développement professionnel, et 5/ parce que c'est mon choix personnel. Je me permets de développer un peu:

1/ On parle suffisamment du chômage des jeunes, tu dois bien le savoir. Je suis diplômée de Grande Ecole française, diplômée d'une université prestigieuse suédoise. Mais un diplôme chaud dans les poches, en période de crise économique, cela n'aide pas. J'ai peut-être surestimé mes chances (copieusement aidée par des institutions universitaires particulièrement pédantes), mais j'ai pris mon mal en patience. J'ai appris une nouvelle langue, j'ai exercé des petits boulots, j'ai travaillé 6 mois sans être payée.

2/ ...Et tous ces petits sacrifices m'ont appris la (fameuse) valeur-travail, tout en me disant qu'il ne faut pas non plus en abuser trop longtemps.

3/ Je sais bien que faire un Master spécialisé en environnement et développement durable, pour beaucoup, cela veut dire faire des accolades aux arbres, s'enchainer aux rails pour bloquer des convois de déchets nucléaires, ou bien partir se faire des dreadlocks en mangeant vegan. Ne m'en veux pas, mais les clichés parfois en France ont la vie longue, alors j'ai préféré avancer dans des endroits où l'on reconnaît ce que j'ai fait et où l'on donne une chance à mes projets et mes envies.

4/ ...Et autant dire qu'en Scandinavie, et (à la grande surprise de beaucoup), au Moyen-Orient, l'environnement n'est pas le premier budget que l'on va écorcher lorsque cela va mal. Ce n'est pas non plus un sujet de discorde politique  au Parlement, et penser "vert" ne veut pas dire "penser Ecologistes". Si je pense vert, c'est que je pense à l'avenir de mon pays et de ma famille. Pas que je cherche à garantir ma réélection dans les 4-5 ans à venir.

5/ Je suis partie à l'étranger parce que cela faisait partie de mon cursus universitaire, une année Erasmus obligatoire. J'ai découvert un monde académique différent, j'ai fait la fête (un peu trop), et j'ai rencontré du monde (beaucoup). J'ai tellement échangé avec des gens de cultures différentes que j'ai rencontré celui que j'allais un jour épouser. Il n'est pas français, mais il se considère autant que moi comme international plutôt qu'issu d'un pays spécifique. Si je ne suis pas en France, ce n'est pas contre mon pays, mais pour développer un futur tout aussi international pour nous deux et notre future progéniture, qui si tout se passe bien, grandira en parlant au minimum 3 à 4 langues à la maison, et connaîtra autant la Tour Eiffel que la Forêt Noire. Et j'aime cette idée, tout bêtement.

Alors pourquoi m'impose-t-on l'idée que je trahis mon pays, parce que je décide de construire une vie qui me semble plus appropriée tout d'abord pour mes projets individuels, mais aussi pour mes futurs projets de famille?

Il y a 20 ans, lorsque j'ai du choisir ma LV1 puis ma LV2 (le grec ancien en option ne m'ayant pas trop ouvert de portes pour le moment), j'ai pensé à l'avenir. J'ai pensé à l'Europe qui grandissait, alors que l'Euro n'existait pas encore. Le gouvernement poussait les jeunes à partir à l'étranger, et une expérience internationale était le must pour un CV glorieux et un accès aux postes à responsabilités. La francophonie était majestueuse, être "Français à l'étranger" semblait la clé à beaucoup de problèmes.

A l'époque, partir était une fierté - maintenant cela sonne comme une trahison.J'espère que tu comprends où je veux en venir, cher Président.

 Je ne vois pas pourquoi il faudrait se justifier de partir lorsque l'on cherche une vie meilleure, ailleurs. La Nouvelle Frontière, l'Eldorado, tout ça ne se trouve plus en France. Cela ne fait pas de moi ou des autres, pour autant, une mauvaise personne, ou une "anti-France". Mon choix de vie a des avantages, il a aussi des inconvénients que j'assume. Mais je ne comprends pas pourquoi j'en arrive me sentir visée par ces commentaires qui disent qu'il faut participer à "l'effort national" pour remonter la pente et sortir de la crise. Je crois qu'en augmentant les impôts par-ci par-là tu impliques déjà tellement de monde à cet effort-là, et beaucoup n'ont pas besoin d'être passés par mes étapes pour avoir envie de filer par la petite ou la grande porte. Je n'ai pas besoin de te rappeler non plus qu'eux même se sentent trahis, que les sentiments sont réciproques.

Que l'on ne vienne pas non plus me parler de politique par ici. Certes, je n'ai pas voté pour toi. Mais j'ai reconnu suffisamment de fois qu'avec le contexte économique et social actuel, l'autre côté n'aurait peut-être pas pu mieux faire non plus. Agir est une bonne chose; agir dans la bonne direction en est une autre.

Cher Président, si tu veux que tes expatriés, ceux qui véhiculent la francophonie et l'excellence de tes universités, ceux qui ont des idées et qui ne vivent que par l'innovation et la stimulation intellectuelle et économique, rentrent, donne leur les bonnes raisons. Toi, Président, tu en as sûrement plus les moyens que nous.

Cordialement, etc etc.

Ex- housewife?

Since I found a job, many readers told me that the title of my blog is now wrong, outdated: I am not a housewife anymore now that I signed a contract, go to the office every day and cashed my first salary check in.

I've tried then to see if I could find an alternative name or description for myself. Technically speaking I am still a housewife on my visa until I get my official working card with a change of title in my passport. Pfiiuuuu, this gives me a few more weeks to decide.

When I opened this blog I officially stated I was one, but did not want to be. It took me a few months and a lot of unexpected and God-i-wish-all-the-sh*t-had-not-happened kind of changes in my life, to realize what I was, what I was not, and what I wanted. 

But all this also taught me that I could not become a cliché "DXB housewife" anyway, by nature. My brain works in a way that I refuse to be dependent, possibly one of the biggest lessons taught not from life only, but also from my mother. On the other hand I did buy a pair of pink high heels and joined the gym with the hope to turn slimmer like many expats here; but my black flip-flops are generally sufficient to hang out (and the pink shoes are getting dusty).

So what am I finally, here in DXB, if I am not a cliché "DXB housewife"?

• a cliché "expat"? Naeh, I am not sure actually. I don't know the right places to be/to go, I have never been to a Friday party brunch since I moved (more than a year ago), and I still don't know the districts' names and directions.
• a cliché "wife"? Highly possible. And I love being my husband's "one". 
• a cliché "DXB worker"? Not very much. This new job, that I already love much, will allow me to change some mentalities, and being optimistic lately, maybe the world. However it won't help me pay the rent in a one year check to sign in advance.

But maybe this is the magic of starting a new life in such a new place.  Forget your clichés, forget your expectations, forget your misunderstandings: DXB is constantly moving, changing, growing, demolishing, reconstructing. Yet it is absolutely overwhelming and most of the time highly annoying. But compare the City with a living organism:  when it has the strength and favorable environment, it grows. When the resources are limited, growth slows down or stops. When something is wrong, it adapts, it evolves. When something is good, it shines. Ok, it shines a bit too much here, but you got my point, right?

 

 I am not sure what I am exactly considering I am not a real housewife anymore. But one thing is obvious to me at the moment: I can be anything I want to be, and I feel lucky.

 

The Spirit of Ramadan - Part 2

When my husband came back home the other day asking me whether I had finally decided to fast after reading my previous article, I told him that I was not especially looking at food and drink as restrictions, but that I was rather interested in the spiritual aspects of Ramadan.

 

But still, appreciating Ramadan "as a full package" means taking all aspects seriously, including fasting, so I considered my options and my starting points: I cannot manage a day without drinking a lot of water, or I systematically get a headache; I cannot do without a certain amount of caffeine (at least a morning cup of coffee or tea) or I spend the rest of the day yawning; I need to leave my house in the morning with some cereals in my stomach or I get grumpy for the rest of the day.

 

Let's say that I am not making it easy on myself from the beginning and that I seriously look for problems. Let's say also that I am the greatest person to find excuses. So I read and listened, and got suggested to start small and simple: do not eat but keep drinking water and juice. But I also have a voice in mind constantly reminding me that "there's no middle way if you take such decisions: either you do it 100%, or you don't".

 

I tried, and to be honest it did not work that well. Eventually my stomach reminded me I was not prepared for it. However, walking around outside (in the streets or in the public transports) allowed me couple of times to push my limits, mainly because there was just no other choice. I also tried to go for the "less-guilty alternative" (eating a fruit instead of a proper meal) to fill my stomach. But still, this is cheating, and even though there are maybe 10 days left to give it a try, I already appreciate the failure.

 

And then I ended up reading the Pan-Arabian Enquirer, and laughed: I did not expect to get a good lesson from a satirical article.

 

I need here to quote the first lines from this morning's article, "Expat still pretending she’s fasting for Ramadan" :

 

"DUBAI: Despite having given up her efforts to fast less than two hours into the first day of Ramadan, Suzie Bramble is still attempting to convince colleagues that she’s going without food or drink during daylight hours.

“I just feel so spiritual inside, like my body and soul are going through a deep cleansing session,” the 35-year-old British expat explained to co-workers in the Dubai offices of MPK Financial Services while on her way to the bathrooms with her pockets stuffed with biscuits. "

 

Yes, I did say in my previous post that I started "embracing the Spirit of Ramadan"; now I just feel like hiding until Eid. I do not like pointing at people, and I just cannot throw the first stone at others when I feel that stupid. Well done, Mr. Enquirer: I got your lesson, and finally listened to the voice in my mind.

 

But let me defend myself at least one last time: I will probably not fast this year or any in the future; however I'll keep on thinking about Ramadan in general,about the Friday  sermons, about food waste on iftar, about traffic hell on Ramadan hours, about peace and quiet at the gym, and about the Iftar dinner at the Burj-Al-Arab on Friday.

 

The Spirit of Ramadan

 When i was small, Ramadan was synonym of trouble.

Raised in a highly old-fashion neighbourhood in Paris, and even though it was only 20 years ago, I can tell you there were not that many Muslims in the district. At this time, Ramadan had no spiritual meaning to us: it mainly meant that our neighbours upstairs would get a lot of visitors, make smelly food and party all night long, and that us little white kids would not sleep much for a month. No need to say that it would "get worse" during winter when night was longer than day. To summarize, let's say that, by then, there was no real cultural exchange and knowledge sharing, and that the respect and community spirit you would expect on this month were non-existing.

And then the father of the family passed away because of cancer. We never heard the family party again, but instead they got a bird that would sing in the courtyard each morning.

I moved to Dubai a year ago, a  few weeks before Ramadan started. Again, for a newcomer in the region, this month was a tough one. Even though I was working from home, once in a while I was going in and out the house by 45°, without having the right to even drink a drop. Once I even almost fainted in the elevator, due to heat shock. Poor newcomer I was.

And then something happened this year. Like a spiritual, cultural epiphany whose source I cannot really identify. This year, I think I've learned more about traditions, about daily stages, about prayers. Even though I had learned much from Muslim friends and colleagues in the past years, I think that this year especially I opened my heart and my mind like never. The events of the past weeks possibly had an impact on my "spiritual opening". But being curious about local traditions probably made the change.

 

Newspapers in the region cover Ramadan on a daily basis. First they review the moon sighting and lessons from astrologists; then they develop the do's and don'ts that people should respect, especially expats; then a great share covers diet practices (how to loose weight, how not to jump on food on Iftar etc...); the rest covers crazy driving and accidents. Each Friday, you can read in English a statement from the prayer sermon; during Ramadan the sermon expands its message to all days.

 

I do believe that things can make sense if you want to embrace them through another filter. Ramadan is a month of peace, sharing, understanding, forgiveness. Fasting is not about restricting yourself to listen to religious dictatorship; it gives you on the contrary an idea of what others might experience, and what you have "in extra" in your life. In the past days I've considered fasting as well and see what I could gain from it on the spiritual level. I am spending most of the day on water and juice, but don't eat until my body reaches its limits, even though it's still daylight, and especially when walking under 45°.

 

After all, it is just the contrary of my childhood's experience. I just had no idea by then that I would embrace a religion myself and one day compare it to Islam. Growing up sometimes gives you a better understanding of what goes on around you.



Grey

I consider myself a “grey” person.

You’re wondering why I picked this colour, although I generally wear blue, or white, or pink on a daily basis?

One can argue (or agree) that grey is the right compromise between my fairly pale skin tone mixed with the potential of darkness my mind can develop (not even talking about my teenage favourite style of music, the make-up and the insomniac lines around my eyes). My blue eyes sometimes turn grey, depending on the light and the emotions.

I consider myself a “grey” person because I was raised and trained to develop critical analysis and reach consensus. To me, nothing is black or white: even though I can get fairly enthusiastic about one side or the other of a story, I need to consider black and white before deciding. That also means that I sometimes decide NOT to decide, which is often perceived as a weakness. I on the other hand call it “understanding the big picture”.

I was proposed a few times to engage in politics. But as the happiest devil’s advocate, I just smiled as an answer. I was asked many times about my opinion on societal matters. I bail and refer my interlocutor to different articles. I am the best alibi you could pick to hide yourself against anything: not that I am a liar, but I will consider the options and behave accordingly.

I live in a place now where cultural exchanges thrive, as much as subsequent misunderstandings, clichés, fears. I’ve been through a lot of phases in the past months, where I empowered these misunderstandings, clichés and fears, but not against the other but rather against myself.  After a year in the region however, I’ve washed all of the above to embrace the blue of the sky, the yellowish orange of the sand, and the grey of my mind.

And for those wondering whether I feel grey because I’ve enjoyed “50 Shades…”, nope I haven’t read it and don’t ever plan to do so. Unless I decide to apply my grey matter for science. Who knows.

What's up, dude?

When i opened this blog, I thought I would mainly use it to share with you, relatives, friends and unknown people around, my everyday life here in the Emirates as an involuntary housewife. I had a format in mind, I had story to tell, I had pictures to take, I had impressions to share. For those who had not expected my silence, let's say that life had hit me sufficiently hard in the past months to give my brain some rest, and that I did not expect my own silence, either.

And the ideas are still there, do not worry. I want to talk about my driving licence, about my crazy neighbours and their monster kid, about the maid, about my nail polish and the urban plans of Dubai Municipality (what about another amusement park or another mall?^^). I want to share my feelings on Ramadan, which will start next week and that I plan to appreciate from a different (but rather more peaceful) perspective. So yes, I've removed the layer of dust from my lonely keyboard, I've thought a little, and I am back on track.

But to make it easier to follow the succession of ideas, it's important to quickly come back to what happened in the past months. I hope you're fine with bullet points, I had thought of preparing a ppt presentation but I thought I would be a little too much (just kidding of course). Here you go, let's go backwards a little to the main events:

• January: I officially turned into a real housewife, I officially passed y UAE driving licence.
• February: I started looking for jobs and went to my first interviews; but to be honest I seriously enjoy my book-and-starbucks afternoons.
• March: I spent snowy days in Paris watching my sister die. I am stuck with images of the hospital and the funerals, but thank god I had beloved ones by my side. Nothing in the world can replace a husband or a best friend.
• April: Recovery time back in the UAE, looking at the Marina Mall while eating pizza on my balcony. No better way to calm my insomnias than reading even more, night after night, and sending even more applications. I changed my approach and decided not to give a F anymore (= let's not apply to apply, but let's aim at what I really want)
• May: I lost my father-in-law and my grand-father within few days, both great men that I respected and loved truly. I can't remember how many trains I took, but I surfed enough between my homes to know the train schedule. I attended 3 funerals in a week, and rested some time in the quiet and fresh air. More reading.
• June: I nailed my recovery, mixed feelings between denial, peace and fear. I applied even more, and met fantastic people. I have cried a lot, I have smiled a lot. And I got a job.
• July: my monthly horoscope is awesome.

So yes, I am officially NOT a housewife anymore, and my visa will even change. But plans have NOT changed, I will keep on telling you local stories.

Just remember: life is a learning process, and you have a big role in making it the way you want it to be. Making no sense? Well, follow July's Virgo and maybe you'll get it.

World Environment Day 2013

Believe it or not, on this day, I will not be using my cynical tone and disappointed words. On the contrary, this time I anticipated a little and made some research online to see what is going on around me.

Today is World Environment Day 2013, and to my (positive) surprise much is actually going on.

With the motto "Think.Eat.Save", this year's WED invites everyone to reconsider your relation to food, to prevent food waste and food loss and thus reduce your footprint on an everyday basis. I like this approach so much: Not only you are what you eat, but I believe you are also what you waste.

What you cook, what you put on your plate, what you trash, all this has an obvious impact on the environment and on the others. The UN Environment Programme (UNEP) gives basic numbers that can help anyone understand where he/she stands, food-wise:

"If food is wasted, it means that all the resources and inputs used in the production of all the food are also lost. For example, it takes about 1,000 litres of water to produce 1 litre of milk and about 16,000 litres goes into a cow’s food to make a hamburger. The resulting greenhouse gas emissions from the cows themselves, and throughout the food supply chain, all end up in vain when we waste food"

This time I am extremely pleased to see that the topic is well covered in the news and corporate world. I am not sure the coffees and restaurants in JBR will address food production and waste in their daily menus; however newspapers pinpoints important aspects that deserve attention.

Pic: Khaleej Time

The Khaleej Times for instance reminds that "According to the UN Food and Agriculture Organisation (FAO), 1.3 billion tonnes of food is wasted every year. This is equivalent to the amount of food produced in the whole of sub-Saharan Africa."  Local authorities are also fully aware that tones of food are discarded during Ramadan, and that families should engage in the "3 Re" (Re-use, Reduce, Recycle) actively to promote more sustainable lifestyles. The message is here, the message is clear.

Dubai Municipality also engaged in a survey to try and collect information of its residents and estimate their
ecological footprint. I doubt the response rate was high, but the concept, the concern is worth mentioning.

More decided to launch new projects on this specific date:

The National puts forward The Goumbook-Gecostore, the "green connection" to purchase sustainable products online, from cosmetics to LED lamps.

AME Info goes for PTL Solar, "one of the region's leading solar energy solutions provider, brings a unique concept of going green with launching SOLCART, the first ever portable solar energy source powered by independent solar off-grid systems".

So yes, today, when I read all this, I have hope and I look forward to the next move.

"And that was enough to make me feel infinite"

Like my father wisely said, life hasn't been easy or fair to me this spring. Fair enough, indeed I had my share and i don't mind taking some time for myself. So far my manucure holds, but i still feel this strange impression to be lost while looking by the window from my 28th floor.

But I probably got used to the rythm of Dubai, after my one-year anniversary here. Because the first thing I wanted to look at, at 3am, was the construction sites down my residence and see how they have progressed after 3 weeks away from the country. I know things generally move fast around, and i was not deceived: the tram station is now built, and another floor of the tower's foundation is ready. There is a new spa, a new tailor, a new kindergarten, and the community gym should be ready soon.

There is just an obvious impression of being disconnected, each time I come back here. It is not especially a bad feeling: it is a strange mix between ecstasy and vertigo. The point is, you just need to understand it and make sure you're in the right mindset, to surf on these two feelings without falling into one particularly.

Fortunately, I have things to look forward to, preventing me from staring at the towers for no reasons, with no purpose. I am willing to end my housewife status soon, more than anything. Don't take me wrong, sleeping late, hanging out at The Walk, and caring about nothing, all this is quite pleasant. But it's not me, it's not what I had in mind when moving here. But until I sign something, I will keep on looking by my window and wait for the city to change.

Because I was standing in the tunnel. And I was really there.

Happy Birthday, Keavy

There are strange moments in life where you meet people and connect instantly, with full heart and no doubt. Your instinct gives you no warning signals, your guts tell you you just want to be "best friend forever" with this person, and you open yourself immediately. 

That's the way i felt when i met Keavy some years ago. We were both volunteering to help organize an international conference in Lille on gender, science and technology, and we shared the same dorm. While the other girls were hard to catch, Keav was immediately ready for fun and story sharing, and so i fell in love with her.

The conference was a week long, and took place in July 2008. Since then we've managed to keep in touch via Facebook (what a great invention for such stories) which would inform one another on her life in the US, on mine in Europe. Pictures, birthday wishes, after all, even though there were no real discussions, it was enough by then to know the other person was there.

Like every year, Facebook tells me today is her birthday. So I go onto her wall, write birthday wishes, and send her my "warmest hugs from Dubai". Having some time I also decide to check her latest pictures, then read the messages people left. Until I understand the clear truth.

Keavy has died. And I had no idea.

I searched a little, to learn she died in a plane accident (she was a pilot).  I got of course very sad and nostalgic, but then smiled immensely: Keav loved flying, she experienced her passion and shared it with her beloved ones until the end.

What angered me the most, however, is to realize the accident did not happen recently. She died in July 2011, almost 2 years ago. And I had no idea.

Since then, someone had been posting on her wall, on her behalf. New pictures, some links. What i thought was just updates on her life ended up being  a page for people to remember, to write, to mourn. And that just hurt me more in a way than knowing she had gone.

In view of my current loss, and of the information I have posted myself on Facebook to share sad news with people I do not know, I feel angry at myself too. Soon I will close my sister's page, to prevent such terrible misunderstanding from happening again. Remembering a lost one should go beyond a page on a website.

Keavy would be 27 today. Happy birthday, girl.

Earth Day 2013

Earth Day takes place every year on 22 April, which makes it...

oh well, today.

Well done for planning, dude.

After couple of years embracing sustainability with my heart and body - applying in my private life some principles supposedly sustainable - i have placed Earth Day on the same level as the Earth Hour, the Intertional Women Day and the World Water Day. I might not fully agree with some of these dedicated days (i do not understand for instance why 8 March should be the only day when gender equality, women health, education and so many other topics are addressed), but I do care.

To me, in these days lays the hope that important questions, relevant to the future of our planet and to mankind, are addressed publicly and broadly. On these days, people get informed, documentaries are broadcasted, debates are held. In Denmark, Earth Day was the occasion for schools to organize workshops for the little ones so they learn about the planet, its water, its resources, food, or waste. Drawing trees on recycled paper to address the natural limitations of our world. In Sweden there were demonstrations on climate change, to gather citizens and politicians on the next square and exchange constructive ideas.

Even though these topics hold in their core great amounts of inequalities and injustice, I associate these open discussion days with democracy, hope, common future.

 

Am i demanding, or too optimistic? possibly both, I guess. I just tend to believe hard that one way to support change is education. Call it even "knowledge" if you wish, even "information".

 

You might disagree with my approach; you might have another opinion than your neighbour; you might have your own idea or way on how to improve the world. Fair enough. I still believe however that if you share this idea with your neighbour, he might change his mind, you might reach a compromise, or you might teach one another new ways to progress.

 

Now: Remember an earlier post regarding Car Free Day 2013 in the region? On 13 February, I actually wrote the following:

"I focused on the article over my breakfast tea, nodding with interest, until I realized that this day was actually...today. Well done for planning, dude". 

No joke, I actually use today the exact same words as I used a few months ago. How cynical is this.

 

I realized it was Earth Day 2013 thanks to the lovely Google Doodle of the Day, showing a little land evolving day and night, season after season. By clicking I could make the Doodle rain, I could fix the flower, and I even grew a tree. Just wonderful to start the day with. Without it another day would have passed and I would have looked at the Sheik Zayed Road from my distant 28th floor without any other consideration than the usual one on noise and traffic.

Pics: Google Doodles of the day

 You see my point here: without a doodle I would have missed the day. Without internet and social media (Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn in my case) I would have forgotten and concentrated my time on my little life instead of focusing on the big picture. I poke myself, as much as I regret the lack of visibility here. I haven't found a trace in the national newspapers, which have been developping papers on the earthquake risks, the current weather conditions (rain, just to mention it) and the new Lamborghini Aventador that the UAE police is now using to patrol.

 

Maybe I should have been more proactive and start communicate about it earlier, long enough to actually trigger reactions, and who knows, implement projects. It could have been something good for the community, and my sustainable spirit would not have hurt either.

 

I have so many memories on constructive discussions while in Scandinavia: why don't we organize a drawing competition in the nearest school? why don't we plant trees to offset carbon emissions, and use this event as an educational mean for the community to understand and respect their environment? Why don't we engage in a public debate to identify the most suitable way to address food waste? Why don't we organize a painting workshop to decorate bikes and promote means of transportation?

 

Too many "why", not enough "let's do it", and inexisting "because" to justify my lack of (re)action.

 

By the way, when i posted "it's Earth Day 2013, is there anything going on on your side?", i got no reply at all. Maybe playing with the Doodle was the most constructive aspect of the day after all.

 

 Happy Earth Day 2013.

 

EDIT 23/04: a friend corrected my mistake via Twitter by forwarding me the following news from the Dubai City Guide website:

"Emirates Green Building Council (EmiratesGBC), an independent forum aimed at conserving the environment by strengthening and promoting green building practices in the UAE, marked Earth Day with a screening of the documentary ‘Wild Ocean 3D’ that highlighted the importance of sustainable development"

Let's hope that future Earth Days and other international célébrations related to the protection of our planet will be broadly advertized to increase public awareness as well as individual/political/corporate commitments. 



Writing is an interesting mental process

One of the assignments I was asked to work on, as part of a job interview, is to write on sustainability, disregarding the final format of my essay. I was even given free hands on topic and size, something anyone would hope for to let creativity and critical sense flow. Do I want to prepare a newsletter, or a short novel? a translation work or a critical review of an existing project? I am free.

I left the meeting with sparkles in my eyes and in my brain, so happy I had finally met people that could inspire me that much  in a one-hour-long meeting only. I sat on a plane, mentally preparing a list of topics i could address. I thought it would take two weeks to sit down and think, to wander around in a familiar urban environment with a notebook in my hand, a pen in the other, and to finally express myself.

These two weeks of creativity however changed into three continuous weeks of worries, prayers and sorrow, and sustainability was forgotten to leave its core place to another important thing in life: family. I have lost my sister, I have lost a piece of my heart with it. I have burried creativity along with many emotions to give room to feelings i did not know, allowing me to face a reality that i had possibly denied, head up.

I have lacked sleep, I have pushed myself to the edge where sleeping equals resting (which was not as frequent as I had hoped). I have been reading, a lot, to reach this limit, I have left the light on long.

It's been a month now, and things have slowly started to change. I do sleep, and I do rest. I read because I want to, not because I feel like denying reality. The biggest change is that I manage to wake up at night, with some writing ideas that i forget of course in the morning. But I think, I look, I read, I observe, I register information.

I am back on track.

There are days...

... when you feel like giving up; when you feel like you could move mountains to succeeed; when you actually have no idea what you are doing.

Being far away from "home" obliges you to define what "home" is and prioritize thinsg in a much more intense way than you expected when you left. You look at events through a different filter, from the elections in your home country to the birth of your friend's first child.

The economic crisis in Europe tells you in bright letters that you are doing good where you are: this is an emotionless fact, easy to calculate, simple to digest. On the other hand you get waves of news in your face, sometimes even a tsunami of updates that make you feel weak, strong, powerless, excited. Surfing these waves of emotions is never fun, mainly because you are so far from where they come from that you don't even know how to hold a hand, how to feel useful, how to progress.

Yes, i know i wrote earlier that I do feel closer to some now that I have left. This is the core of the paradox. You're there but you're not here. It's so good but it hurts at the same time. You count days but you see time pass at another speed.

So you, people "at home", be gentle with us. We know your everyday life can be hard, grey, complex. Just do not believe that because we live in the constant sun, or because we have a complete different lifestyle, our everyday life is shiny and obviously simple at all time. We fight like you, we struggle like you, but we do keep our heads up as you would at home.

Same same, but different.

tic toc tic toc

This noteis not an expat post per se, but isn't this page a diary as well, disregarding if i am a housewife or not?

The past weeks have been hyperactive, the past days have been tensed.

On the one hand i've realized that my work profile, as strange and original it might look like, is good and is under the radar of some people. I have met extremely interesting people, My brain has started smoking in response to questions, suggestions, advice, ideas, and I know I am looking the right direction, with the right tools in my hands.

On the other hand I know other things matter more, and that life never makes things simple for anyone. The clock is ticking, and i anxiously stare at the phone. Searching a job is a month- or even a year- or life-long perspective; life sometimes makes you look at your future from one day to another, from one night to the other.

You only live once - yet make sure you know what you are living for.

*sigh again*

Sending condolences messages to beloved ones for the second time in less than a week is no fun.

What feels better however is to know that the two departed have closed their eyes surrounded by their family, to quote one relative, "in a bubble of love".

I made the maid cry

Last week i made the maid cry.

 

For you who do not speak DXB, a maid is a great combo of cleaning lady, baby sitter, grocery shopping, au pair, and whatever else you would need to run your house properly. If you consider that the architecture of a house or an apartment takes into account this very local need by including a "maid room" and "maid bathroom", you can guess how important this person is for the society.

Some households have a full-time maid at home as "almost part of the family" (heard in the CDG airport "yes we go on holidays together, she takes care of the kids while we rest, but it's just not the same"); some on the other hand, like us, ask a maid to come and help clean the apartment once in a while.

It took me some time to understand the concept and have someone  come and clean my dishes, iron my shirt, vacuum my dust. After the past years living in a Scandinavian country, and partly on my own, I have been used to take care of myself and deal with my stuff, and i have troubles accepting that someone fixes the stuff that I have messed up. But after a few times, i have admitted that this is nice to come to a freshly clean apartment without having even moved a finger.

Since i moved in June, i have also met a few girls and boys and even developed a certain preference towards a few. I have been asked each time if i'm married, if i'm a housewife, and if i'm pregnant = the most relevant reasons for a woman to be home on working hours. Yes i am married, yes i work (or at list worked), no i am not pregnant. But yes if you are nice i might consider you to keep the baby when necessary.

Last week i met a new girl. Very sweet, very shy, she apologized couple of times for asking questions and checking if what she was doing was right. Previously working as cleaning lady in hospitals, she wasn't used to help in private apartments. Actually she even did not like it, she said, "because from one place to another you don't really know what to expect and how people will be". She apologized when someone called her on the phone, she thanked me even more when i gave her a Coke to drink.

 Before leaving, she filled the usual receipt from the maid company, for my signature. I always leave a comment on the paper, knowing that it will most probably be reviewed by the manager, and who knows, it might affect her employment there. I signed, I paid, I gave her her well deserved tip and a bunch of English magazines that would end up in the bin otherwise. Then she looked at the receipt, and she started crying in front of me.

I had written "very good service".

She apologized for crying, and hugged me. As it was a first i got fairly surprised and asked what was going on: "you wrote I did a good work, and I am so happy about it. It makes me happy because when I read this, I completely forget that I am tired and that it is not easy". And she hugged me again in a great crying smile. In 2 sentences she just broke my heart. After she left i sat down for a few minutes, pretty brainless.

Since January I've been looking for a job, and my personal situation, both socially and financially, allows me to be demanding in my choices. I find myself fairly simple, but I do not count the dirhams in my pocket to get extra caramel on my latte macchiato. I sometimes wonder how much tip I should leave at the restaurant, and I do not care much of the "ma'm/sir" anymore. But this girl slapped my ethical choices efficiently, reminding them that life here, as a Western housewife, is not real, not the reality that I want.

Last week i made the maid cry.

*sigh*

Being away, it's also dealing on an everyday basis  with this feeling of guilt that you home might have troubles to understand. Yes, i left for certain reasons, I do not regret it and take full responsibility. But please, do not tell me that "being there, home, would make things easier to handle". Being home does not contradict the fact that you also might feel powerless and therefore guilty.

Physical distance means that I sometimes feel far away from my relatives, my friends, who experience a shit load of troubles. I look from far far away at them, sometimes worried, sometimes nodding in front of brave behaviours. I hope they know I will always be there for them. I admire them, I just regret they cannot physically place their head on my shoulder to rest, even for a few seconds.

To my dear friend (if by any chance you've ever come around), you might recognize yourself in my words. I miss you, I admire you, I pray for you.

Life's a bitch.

Fashion in the UAE

Fashion is a concept deeply included in Dubai's everyday life. Fashion is in your local coffee shop, fashion is in your mall, fashion is on your DXB Twitter timeline. I receive daily notifications (or "suggested posts") on Facebook, and i start getting mails for whatever events in my inbox.

"If I go to the gym here? nope, I mean, I did go at the beginning when I moved, but mainly because it was too hot to do anything outdoor sports. But seriously, even at the gym the girls are super fashion, they all look super nice, with the latest fashionable outfit, it's almost unfair. Remember the feeling when you are exhausted, when you are sweaty and stuff, while the girls around just look perfect?! Well that's what I feel here at all time. Yes in a way I am quite disconnected with it, seriously, who needs to put high heels to get a coffee at Starbucks downstairs?!"

This is what I used to answer when I moved some months ago. I still had a few kilos to loose, my house was still crossing the world on a container, and thus I had only a suitcase of clothes from Denmark to make my way through Fashionland.

Since then, I used the gym, I went running, I go to the pool, I even tried biking. I did a 10k race, I consider pushing it again to 21. I want to go back dancing. Oh, and I lost my 2 kilos.

Since then I packed my winter cloth into boxes. I bought skinny jeans, I even have a new pair of flashy pink heels-platforms. I wear dresses, i wear short shortpants = i show my knees to the world. I bought a bikini, I even wear it on the beach. Last but not least, I WEAR COLOURS.

I follow fashion weeks, I read people magazines. Each time I reach the Dubai Mall, i look forward to buying the latest edition of Vogue.

Man, what did this play do to me?! I know I am far from being a fashionista, but...

And to prove that fashion is everywhere: Last week was the  International Defence Exhbition and Conference, IDEX, in Abu Dhabi. There you could see the latest news in terms of weapons, tanks, planes, defence items, etc...And apart from trying the latest shotgun, you could also see...a fashion show:

"ABU DHABI // A 16-tonne armoured army vehicle has been given a bling makeover for Idex – painted gold, chrome and bronze and covered in Swarovski crystals [...] It was created by Gavin Rajah, a couture designer to celebrities such as Beyonce and Cameron Diaz."
(see the full article from The National here)

And if you doubt my words, here is what it looked like. Yep, fashion in the world of weapons. I'm still looking for the logics behind.

interview

I was asked to arrive 15mn in advance, as usual i ended up 30mn early. I would normally walk around the block to relax a little, but considering the high heels, the high sun, and the fact there was just nothing around, i just waited in the lobby. I took my notes out, had a quick look again at my CV.

Then came this lovely Indian girl who came to seat behind me: "you're coming for an interview, right? good luck!" with a big smile.

I look down at my freshly polished shoes and check my hair, tightened in a ponytail. I laugh: "is it that obvious?!" I was expecting her to mention my look, the documents i was holding, my posture. Instead she just answered:

"Oh you know we've all been through this!" with a empathic but confident smile. "Good luck, just be yourself, it will be fine!". Then she left, leaving me with a sense of peace and confidence.

She wasn't wrong: I was myself, and it went fine. She made my day.

I am looking for a job

Looking for a job, disregarding the country you are trying your chance in, is generally a matter of numbers. So far i have the following:
- 110 applications sent
- 14 refusals/positions closed for whatever reasons
- 2 calls received, awainting potential interviews.
- 1 call placed - my bad, i am working on it.

To these you need to add the number of years of experience you have, your salary expectations, the dates of your availability, and to conclude, your phone number. The numbers are aligning, and I know that I still have much to do.

I spent the first weeks of the year finishing my license and reframing my profile. I slowly figure out who I am and what I want to sell, it's funny as much time this can take.

I answered "yes", you never know.

EDIT of the day after: i so have to add the following numbers to my list:

- 2: number of agencies that called today to say they would try to place my CV, but that it could need improvements

- 50%: the great discount they would give for their help because my profile is not lost cause after all

- USD 400: the average price for regular support packages to have someone re-write my CV, prepare a cover letter, and contact the top 200 companies around.

- USD 159: What they are ready to ask for, because i'm great with high potential

 

Note here the way your ego is surfing waves, "you suck but you're good but you suck so you need help", which is an easy way to hoook people desperately looking for openings and hoping to be called back. And to make this even more pathetic, this happened because i registered my CV on official job search websites that should be trustworthy. You know, well-designed website, credentials, well-known job platforms (not only talking local but also international), etc...Brilliant scam after all for those who cannot waste the chance to refuse a job opportunity. Pathetic.

 

Note that the words were already highlighted in the mail I received, apart from being underlined and bold.



 

"Do you often drive around?"

Some weeks ago I would have mentioned, not without blushing, that if I do not drive in Dubai, it's because i do not have my driving license. This changed a month ago when I finally passed it, 10 years after I enrolled for the first time in a driving institute in Paris.

My first thoughts went to my friends as they would not be able to tease me anymore on the topic, asking me each time we would meet "so, how is the driving going?". As much as i fell proud, I also turned fairly concerned. If you ever travelled around in the Middle East (and probably with a certain equation that the easter you travel, the worse it gets), you'd know how crazy traffic can be on a quantitative but mainly on a qualitative basis. As much as I think I drive well - even better than a lot of people here - my exam was max 10mn long while an assessment in Europe would have been much longer and probably much more demanding and thorough.

Moreover, driving against the rules is not punished as strictly as it is at home, as it should be, on my opinion. Sadly you can read cases of deadly car crashes almost everyday in the news due to combined factors such as speeding, crazy change in lanes, bad distance management between vehicles, poor technical controls. Yesterday a mother and her three kids got killed when her car litterally split while hitting the car coming from the other side, as the driving husband fell asleep. Last week, when i drove officially for the first time on the highway, we got diverted as a truck driver missed control and his vehicle fell in the middle of the lanes (news said his body was smashed from the accident, no one else got killed or injured). Last example but not least, 24 workers got killed 3 weeks ago in their comuting bus as it got covered by the 75 tons of sand the truck before was transporting. Speed, tail gating and poor braking systems were blamed.

So yes, I can drive, I actually enjoy it a lot; but the thruth is, I am also a little concerned to join a system where anticipating what the others can do and how badly they will follow the rules are key aspects for your safety (rather than expecting them to know what they're doing). Now i truly embrace the concept of "defensive driving" I was told about in the institute.

"Ok ok...but are you happy here?"

Since i made this blog public (less than a week ago only) i have received some concerned comments regarding my happiness level in the UAE. Some of my friends also tried to make me reconsider my decision to leave Europe, quit my job and move on. Obviously I did not sound super optimistic so I feel the need to correct, or at least explain myself.

 So, for once, let me ask YOU the question: what does "being happy" actually mean?

"Yes I know I expressed some tough comments regarding my life in Dubai since I moved in June. And yes I am not hiding it, there were difficult times. But you know what? it's getting much better, and I swear I am not trying to convince myself. Seriously, you cannot expect anyone to merge so fast in a new place straight after changing many important things in your life.

Consider it: everyone needs a bit of time to adapt to a new apartment, to a new job. In my case I have not only changed my job, I also moved to another apartment, another city, another country, another continent. I have left much behind to be with my man again, and I have no regret. He's worth the change, and I was looking for it as well. Don't you have sometimes the impression you are stuck somewhere? I don't have the impression anymore that I escaped from something by leaving: I have finally the impression I have moved on".

Nobody said it was easy, Coldplay said. Moving, adapting, changing, growing, all this takes time, and the more you push it, the less it comes. It's tough, sometimes painful. You tend to experience ups and downs more often that others, you also feel them in a deeper way. But isn't it the way to learn who you are? Remember one thing: if I'm not saying that I am happy, it does not mean that I am unhappy. There is a massive difference in concepts here. I feel peaceful, but it happens that I feel stressed once in a while by my new life. Pretty much like everyone else. I do miss my friends of course, but I do not miss the safety and comfort I had chosen in my everyday life before I left. I recognized the signals, I panicked, I carefully considered pros and cons, and I took my decision.

"After much time away from him, I am now with the man I love, and just for this I can seriously be greatful. Yes I miss my friends, but they also know where I am, as much as I know where they are. Being away does not make them strangers, I probably even feel closer to them this way. And look, think about it: I am in the right place to start all over again. I have the right to choose differently, I have the possibility to re-invent myself. Who else can have such an opportunity?"

Nobody said it was easy, Coldplay said. I am learning, designing, modelling myself. I am working with the past to create a new me. Inch'allah it will lead somewhere. Are you happy, then?

Car Free Day 2013 in DXB

Today is officially Car Free Day in Dubai.

With my sustainability background and my personal ideas on traffic management in urban environment, i silently congratulated the UAE government for taking such a great initiative in a city like Dubai where cars are deeply anchored in the urban planning and mentalities.

I focused on the article over my breakfast tea, nodding with interest, until I realized that this day was actually...today. Well done for planning, dude. I do not have a car of my own yet (my impressions on driving here will come later, surely) and I had not planned to move from my chair unless to take a stroll in the Marina. I just fell suddenly powerless and even useless, and I wondered how many people were actually aware of this day that is generally well followed in European cities such as Copenhagen. I did not see or read any outreach campaign online, while it would be supported in public offices, shops, schools, public transports, or even in the streets...elsewhere.

The article mentions that "In the last year’s campaign over 3500 vehicle owners did not use their vehicles resulting in a reduction of 10.5 tons of carbon emission." Fair enough, it is already a good thing as a principle. However I just wonder not only how they actually managed to monitor such a number, but also how relevant it can be: car pooling/sharing is not common, and you generally only have one person per car (which possibly means 2 to 3 cars per household). In my mind, this means that only a few have responded to the Car Free call.

It also reminds me a very interesting conversation with my friend Jenni on cycling in the Middle East. In her blog The Urban Observer she discusses the potential for cycling in Doha, which is pretty much next door. Following the article we were a few to exchange on cycling options in the region. My main concern was that while there are theoretically opportunities, public interest and governmental money to develop pedestrians- and bike-friendly infrastructure, the urban culture (and its bad deviations such as the obvious lack of security and awareness,  and the urban planning itself) unfortunately does not make it a realistic option in Dubai. And I do miss my good old second-hand Danish bike to go from one part of the city to another.

Am I also the only one to see blood on the car sign rather than something more friendly and engaging?!

EDIT, Th. 14/02 (= the day after):

• The result came in a pretty nice but unnoticed copy-paste of last year's results: "over 5000 vehicle owners did not use their vehicles resulting in a reduction of 15 tons of carbon emission" . 1500 more cars that were not used. Not much in view of the total, but already a progress.
• Just before going to bed, i told hubbie "you know what, it's Car Free Day in Dubai". His answer was pretty enthusiastic, I know he shares the same ideas on the matter. "Oh nice, when is it?" I smiled. "Today". "Oh. Well. I had no idea". Exactly my point.

Rising sun, Dirty windows

One thing...

One thing telling you that you are merging into a new life in the Middle East: you do not hear the Prayer Calls anymore. When I moved, I would hear it clearly, I would even open the window and stay on the balcony as long as it lasts, eyes closed. Now the song is evaporated in the air before it even reaches my attention.

"but as a woman, are you allowed to go out?"

Following the first questions and usual clichés one can have on the Middle East, here comes the heavy layer of gender-related questions. I am not saying I am a pro of what the ME is and what the society rules are, but i have heard a lot of questions that make me smile every single time. I have also heard my load of annoying comments, but I understand as well that such a region raises a lot of questions and much curiosity, particularly from European friends and relatives who have not had any international/multicultural experiences.

So here is a little compilation of the best I had to comment about:
- "as a woman, are you allowed to go out?"
- "can you actually go out alone?"
- "are you allowed to drive?"
- "how do you dress up then?"
- "how do you do when you go to the beach (if you're even allowed to!) or to the pool?!"
- "do you actually have a life on your own, i.e. without your husband?"

I carefully have to restrain a laughter and think about the words I have to use to express the right ideas. Western people tend to be negatively critical regarding gender balance in the region, and it is also true from an internal point of view that there are obvious differences that would raise the hair on a feminist's head. How to be critical without being judgemental is always hard.

"Yes, I do have a life of my own. Yes i can go out, i can wear a bikini on the beach, I can even drive on my own. You know, you probably confuse with Saudi Arabia where indeed women rights are much lower and restrictive. Dubai on the contrary is pretty open and not as conservative as other Emirates, probably because of the high percentage of Western expats and tourists here.

For instance, where I live, in the Marina district, it's no problem to wear shortpants and flip-flops, but yes, i would probably avoid wearing the same when going into more conservative parts of town, or when I have to be around alone in the city. It's not really a question of safety, but more of being considerate and respectful to local customs, I would do the same in any other regions in the world. As a comparison I would probably dress up much more conservatively in Paris, you know, to avoid all stupid sexist comments that I would get anyway, just by being a woman ..."

"But are you feeling safe here as a woman?"

This question somehow brings me back to all these times where i was nervous walking alone as a woman, holding my bag tight, or raising the volume of my MP3 so that I would not hear insults, and thus in France...

"As a Western woman i actually feel safe here, yes. You know, no one really wants to end up in jail here for stupid reasons, i don't even want to think of the livin conditions there...and people are generally deported from the UAE after the time in jail so they cannot make any mistakes..."

"Ah ah ah yes, and you get your wrist cut as well, right?"

There I present a nervous rictus but I do not answer. Engaging in a discussion on human rights and possible religious-based extremism would start a never ending story that i qualify "black vs. white", "evil vs. good", generally going into "islam vs. the rest of the world".

"You know, when I make the choice to move to another country in another region in the world, I do my best to adapt the local culture and local customs. I am not there to criticize the local religion or beliefs, and I am not planning on challenging the society and its order. I am feeling safe, yes, but I would not have in mind to wear very short clothes and thus go against what is considered here as correct. It's called "being respectful"."

"And do you know many people there?"

This question is probably the most passive-aggressive question that i have been asked so far since i moved to the UAE last summer. It does not mean that people got enclined to know how low my social network has been so far, but rather whether i am merging well in a complete new setting where theoretically women do not have a place (seen from outside of course). I know this comes with very warm intentions and positive concerns, but asking the same question again and again often reminds me that my friends are not here.

"Yeaaah i do know some people, of course through my husband, but I really like them and i think we're bonding  quite well. But of course things will move on as soon as I find a job, I mean, I did not really meet anyone while I was telecommuting for 6 months. I know things will change as soon as I actually have a proper office life, it's not like I can really meet people elsewhere."

And do you know any locals?

"Well not really actually, I mean of course you'll mainly find expats in Dubai, and you actually mean them in a regular social context. I've met some at the gym, but you can't really connect while doing aerobics or pilates..."

So what do you do then when you don't work?

This question generally comes straight after the social life one, as people generally get stuck with the Disneyland impression. Yes it's easy to spend money in Dubai, and i cannot count the number of kilometers i've walked through the Dubai Mall, Mall of the Emirates and Ibn Battuta Mall. No i did not go skiing, and i haven't seen a real camel race yet. Yes i've seen pinguins, i've seen the Palm, but dune driving in the desert makes me sick.

It's February, and i start realizing that I am lucky, even spoiled, to be here. I might regret it when the summer heat strikes back, but until then, the sky is blue, the sea is darker blue, and smoking a shisha with a friend as the sun goes down over the Wavebreaker is priceless.

"And it's not too hot there"?

The logical follow-up of the previous conversation is to discuss about the weather.

I've been used to discuss weather items since my stay in Denmark, as weather-talks are probably the most common generalist discussion starter you can have with introverted Danes. At first you really wonder why you discuss about the clouds, rain and snow; this goes however until it becomes a part of you, until you can recognize the different degrees in cold wind and "chill factor" in winter, until you can control your bike in slushy snow. Then you just rock the weather-talk.

I move on then in the "how is Dubai" conversation:

"Oh well, you know I actually moved to Dubai in the middle of the summer in June, and it was very hard, like 45°, even 48° one day, i can tell you this was super tough for me to manage! Seriously man, for few months the temperatures here were twice higher than in Europe, crazy! I also like rain, wind, clouds, and here it's been always blue sky! Moreover, I just moved before the Ramadan, so no right to eat and drink in public, by this temperature i got sick couple of times, i almost collapsed once outside!" (a bit exagerated of course but that's what people want)

"Once in a while i even got so excited to see clouds that I would even take pictures to prove it!":

"But you know, as soon as it's winter, it's actually getting fresh, stormy and even rainy! (here it's time to face your friends laughing at you using the word" cold") You even need to wear a jacket at night, especially because we're close to the sea, and it's super common to get the flu around! It can easily snow on the mountains in the desert, and here, when it rains, their evacuation systems are so not used that it's common to have floods in the streets! I'm even not talking about how people drive, they have no idea how to behave when it rains, so they often get stuck in the water, not even mentionning all the accidents around!"

Another time I take my phone out of my pocket to illustrate my point with another picture:

My husband justifies the fact that I am cold these days by a satisfactory answer: I am obviously getting used to the weather here. It sounds good indeed, especially considering that i have lost my heat-related swollen figure. But to be honest, I am already dreading the coming summer. Not that i plan to remain at this level, but being a housewife when you cannot be outside is hell. Being housewife itself (when you do not feel to be one) is no real fun actually.

"So, do you like it?"

This is probably the question i was asked the most by my friends and relatives regarding my new life in the UAE, directly next after "So, how is Dubai?!".

Within the past months I think i have developped a fairly standardized answer that  i can adapt and place randomly in any conversation at home without too many troubles. I have said this answer so many times that I sometimes had the impression i was trying to convince myself, after all if you repeat the same things again and again you tend to believe in them as well:

"You know, Dubai is a very nice but special place, i think it's kind of a good mix between the Arabian Nights, Disneyland and Vegas (approving nods of the audience, it's easy to undersand as such). I mean, technically speaking the place is not 100 years old, and the city is just out of the desert, there should be nothing there normally.

Yes, i leave on a tower. It's like, what, 5 minutes max to the sea, and we have i think 5 or 6 pools for a block of towers, which is very nice. No gym, but you can go running in the Marina. Do you want to see a picture?"

and there i hand out one of my Instagram shots of the bedroom's view, which generally generates impressed comments:

"I live on the 28 th floor (same impressed nod), it's quite impressive of course, and it's always worth considering emergency measures. I mean, technically speaking i am not really sure the towers follow right safety standards, they are built so fast here. For example there's been a fire in a tower nearby (JLT end of 2012) and the fire went up so fast. I also have a massive crack on our living-room wall, no seriously, if we decide to stay longer i'm thinking we should move somewhere else! One day it will all look like Inception, remember when the buildings are collapsing in the sea, in his dreams?"
(here i laugh nervously, thinking of the false fire alarms that kept us awake in the middle of the night last week).

JBR nowadays



My idea of JBR in 100 years