The Forgotten - Guilt

Over the past years, i've signed up to be part of a lot of specialized sites, forums, blogs, etc...related to mummyhood. Yeah you'd surely tell me i could better use my time in more constructive things; but well, when you're new at something, getting a bit of help, whether theoretical or not, is not wrong either.

I am a working mum. That means, i went back to the office after 3 months off, back full time a month later. I could have decided not to; my company could have decided not to, also. For those who do not know, the legal maternity leave is no longer than 45 calendar days, 100 in case of medical emergency. No need to calculate much: it's short, very short.
However i was happy to go back to the office full time and leave my son in the hands of professional carers at the nursery.

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The Forgotten - Guilt
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Well, guilt actually is not a forgotten concept in the forums and readings i mentioned earlier. it is actually sadly redundant and part of the new vocabulary that a mum needs to digest, and hopefully feel awful about:
you should feel guilty to leave your kid in school, especially the entire day.
You should punish yourself for having a moment of weakness and regret the freedom you had before (especially when freedom = the 2mn shower you need to have between 2 feeds).
You should cry for opening a food jars for dinner and skipping home-made baby cooking. 
I am even not talking about all the classes you cannot attend which obviously will ruin your child's education and development.
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I won't address here the contradictions between the authorities' desires to empower female workforce and the regulations which pretty much oblige you to stay home if you cannot afford daycare or a nanny. It is obviously a fundamental problem which is far beyond one's control.

Life here is also planned around mothers at home who have the time to develop hobbies and attend classes of workshops which are interesting...oh wait how would i know? i am in the office and they all take place on weekdays during working hours...
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Here i want to poke the worst treatment you can get as a new mum, and i am even not sure how to call it: Mummy-bashing? Mummy bitch talk?Inconsiderate judging?
to summarise: all people asking you how you can look at yourself in the mirror to go back to work while obviously not caring about your pooping bundle of joy.

Many articles describe over stressed mothers who are guilty to even think of going back to work. or leaving kiddo with strangers. or even worse, feeling exhausted being a mother and not enjoying every single little minute of pregnancy or motherhood because you know, after all, all this will disappear within minutes and your kid will move out tomorrow. If you do not die alone anyway because your now 4 months old will hate you the rest of your life for focusing one minute on the latest Kardashian episode instead of caring about Baby Einstein at all time.

You have decided not to breastfeed despite the WHO recommendations to have your boobs sore for at least 6 months "to give your child the best start in life"? how dare you, you evil person.
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my answer to this: screw this. Screw the pressure that society puts on what being a great parent should mean. it's like peer pressure, and sometimes close to harassment. And the worst is that it comes 1/naturally and 2/form your fellow sisters who should know best what it feels like to spend a morning throwing up, to suffer from whatever complications, to have a living body expelled from your own, to lack sleep, to feel like hiding under the blanket, to fantasise over a proper meal or a glass of whine while in the meantime hoping to be respected for keeping the little one alive, healthy and happy.

But seriously, shit shit shit since when has it become wrong to be selfish and make yourself the one alive, healthy and happy? because with all due respect, forget this and you're screwed!
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I decided to ban guilt from my life, it is counter productive and i have no energy to waste on "what if". My full time work keeps me up and running mentally and allows me to be creative and meet awesome people.
No lie here there's a fair share of heavy thinking, planning and running around, surely too much. There's also a lot of self-made pressure so that i can allow my man to not feel guilty for having to work late or travel, as yes, he does not have the choice, and guilt does not discriminate gender. Some -women- however are obviously hit worst (BS) and men do not bother (super-BS).

How is my son doing? he's awesome and going to nursery since 4th month has made  him super social, joyful, curious and open to new things. Fair enough he's been sick and our paediatrician has become a part of our life. But yeah, no regret whatsoever.