Fashion in the UAE

Fashion is a concept deeply included in Dubai's everyday life. Fashion is in your local coffee shop, fashion is in your mall, fashion is on your DXB Twitter timeline. I receive daily notifications (or "suggested posts") on Facebook, and i start getting mails for whatever events in my inbox.

"If I go to the gym here? nope, I mean, I did go at the beginning when I moved, but mainly because it was too hot to do anything outdoor sports. But seriously, even at the gym the girls are super fashion, they all look super nice, with the latest fashionable outfit, it's almost unfair. Remember the feeling when you are exhausted, when you are sweaty and stuff, while the girls around just look perfect?! Well that's what I feel here at all time. Yes in a way I am quite disconnected with it, seriously, who needs to put high heels to get a coffee at Starbucks downstairs?!"

This is what I used to answer when I moved some months ago. I still had a few kilos to loose, my house was still crossing the world on a container, and thus I had only a suitcase of clothes from Denmark to make my way through Fashionland.

Since then, I used the gym, I went running, I go to the pool, I even tried biking. I did a 10k race, I consider pushing it again to 21. I want to go back dancing. Oh, and I lost my 2 kilos.

Since then I packed my winter cloth into boxes. I bought skinny jeans, I even have a new pair of flashy pink heels-platforms. I wear dresses, i wear short shortpants = i show my knees to the world. I bought a bikini, I even wear it on the beach. Last but not least, I WEAR COLOURS.

I follow fashion weeks, I read people magazines. Each time I reach the Dubai Mall, i look forward to buying the latest edition of Vogue.

Man, what did this play do to me?! I know I am far from being a fashionista, but...

And to prove that fashion is everywhere: Last week was the  International Defence Exhbition and Conference, IDEX, in Abu Dhabi. There you could see the latest news in terms of weapons, tanks, planes, defence items, etc...And apart from trying the latest shotgun, you could also see...a fashion show:

"ABU DHABI // A 16-tonne armoured army vehicle has been given a bling makeover for Idex – painted gold, chrome and bronze and covered in Swarovski crystals [...] It was created by Gavin Rajah, a couture designer to celebrities such as Beyonce and Cameron Diaz."
(see the full article from The National here)

And if you doubt my words, here is what it looked like. Yep, fashion in the world of weapons. I'm still looking for the logics behind.

interview

I was asked to arrive 15mn in advance, as usual i ended up 30mn early. I would normally walk around the block to relax a little, but considering the high heels, the high sun, and the fact there was just nothing around, i just waited in the lobby. I took my notes out, had a quick look again at my CV.

Then came this lovely Indian girl who came to seat behind me: "you're coming for an interview, right? good luck!" with a big smile.

I look down at my freshly polished shoes and check my hair, tightened in a ponytail. I laugh: "is it that obvious?!" I was expecting her to mention my look, the documents i was holding, my posture. Instead she just answered:

"Oh you know we've all been through this!" with a empathic but confident smile. "Good luck, just be yourself, it will be fine!". Then she left, leaving me with a sense of peace and confidence.

She wasn't wrong: I was myself, and it went fine. She made my day.

I am looking for a job

Looking for a job, disregarding the country you are trying your chance in, is generally a matter of numbers. So far i have the following:
- 110 applications sent
- 14 refusals/positions closed for whatever reasons
- 2 calls received, awainting potential interviews.
- 1 call placed - my bad, i am working on it.

To these you need to add the number of years of experience you have, your salary expectations, the dates of your availability, and to conclude, your phone number. The numbers are aligning, and I know that I still have much to do.

I spent the first weeks of the year finishing my license and reframing my profile. I slowly figure out who I am and what I want to sell, it's funny as much time this can take.

I answered "yes", you never know.

EDIT of the day after: i so have to add the following numbers to my list:

- 2: number of agencies that called today to say they would try to place my CV, but that it could need improvements

- 50%: the great discount they would give for their help because my profile is not lost cause after all

- USD 400: the average price for regular support packages to have someone re-write my CV, prepare a cover letter, and contact the top 200 companies around.

- USD 159: What they are ready to ask for, because i'm great with high potential

 

Note here the way your ego is surfing waves, "you suck but you're good but you suck so you need help", which is an easy way to hoook people desperately looking for openings and hoping to be called back. And to make this even more pathetic, this happened because i registered my CV on official job search websites that should be trustworthy. You know, well-designed website, credentials, well-known job platforms (not only talking local but also international), etc...Brilliant scam after all for those who cannot waste the chance to refuse a job opportunity. Pathetic.

 

Note that the words were already highlighted in the mail I received, apart from being underlined and bold.



 

"Do you often drive around?"

Some weeks ago I would have mentioned, not without blushing, that if I do not drive in Dubai, it's because i do not have my driving license. This changed a month ago when I finally passed it, 10 years after I enrolled for the first time in a driving institute in Paris.

My first thoughts went to my friends as they would not be able to tease me anymore on the topic, asking me each time we would meet "so, how is the driving going?". As much as i fell proud, I also turned fairly concerned. If you ever travelled around in the Middle East (and probably with a certain equation that the easter you travel, the worse it gets), you'd know how crazy traffic can be on a quantitative but mainly on a qualitative basis. As much as I think I drive well - even better than a lot of people here - my exam was max 10mn long while an assessment in Europe would have been much longer and probably much more demanding and thorough.

Moreover, driving against the rules is not punished as strictly as it is at home, as it should be, on my opinion. Sadly you can read cases of deadly car crashes almost everyday in the news due to combined factors such as speeding, crazy change in lanes, bad distance management between vehicles, poor technical controls. Yesterday a mother and her three kids got killed when her car litterally split while hitting the car coming from the other side, as the driving husband fell asleep. Last week, when i drove officially for the first time on the highway, we got diverted as a truck driver missed control and his vehicle fell in the middle of the lanes (news said his body was smashed from the accident, no one else got killed or injured). Last example but not least, 24 workers got killed 3 weeks ago in their comuting bus as it got covered by the 75 tons of sand the truck before was transporting. Speed, tail gating and poor braking systems were blamed.

So yes, I can drive, I actually enjoy it a lot; but the thruth is, I am also a little concerned to join a system where anticipating what the others can do and how badly they will follow the rules are key aspects for your safety (rather than expecting them to know what they're doing). Now i truly embrace the concept of "defensive driving" I was told about in the institute.

"Ok ok...but are you happy here?"

Since i made this blog public (less than a week ago only) i have received some concerned comments regarding my happiness level in the UAE. Some of my friends also tried to make me reconsider my decision to leave Europe, quit my job and move on. Obviously I did not sound super optimistic so I feel the need to correct, or at least explain myself.

 So, for once, let me ask YOU the question: what does "being happy" actually mean?

"Yes I know I expressed some tough comments regarding my life in Dubai since I moved in June. And yes I am not hiding it, there were difficult times. But you know what? it's getting much better, and I swear I am not trying to convince myself. Seriously, you cannot expect anyone to merge so fast in a new place straight after changing many important things in your life.

Consider it: everyone needs a bit of time to adapt to a new apartment, to a new job. In my case I have not only changed my job, I also moved to another apartment, another city, another country, another continent. I have left much behind to be with my man again, and I have no regret. He's worth the change, and I was looking for it as well. Don't you have sometimes the impression you are stuck somewhere? I don't have the impression anymore that I escaped from something by leaving: I have finally the impression I have moved on".

Nobody said it was easy, Coldplay said. Moving, adapting, changing, growing, all this takes time, and the more you push it, the less it comes. It's tough, sometimes painful. You tend to experience ups and downs more often that others, you also feel them in a deeper way. But isn't it the way to learn who you are? Remember one thing: if I'm not saying that I am happy, it does not mean that I am unhappy. There is a massive difference in concepts here. I feel peaceful, but it happens that I feel stressed once in a while by my new life. Pretty much like everyone else. I do miss my friends of course, but I do not miss the safety and comfort I had chosen in my everyday life before I left. I recognized the signals, I panicked, I carefully considered pros and cons, and I took my decision.

"After much time away from him, I am now with the man I love, and just for this I can seriously be greatful. Yes I miss my friends, but they also know where I am, as much as I know where they are. Being away does not make them strangers, I probably even feel closer to them this way. And look, think about it: I am in the right place to start all over again. I have the right to choose differently, I have the possibility to re-invent myself. Who else can have such an opportunity?"

Nobody said it was easy, Coldplay said. I am learning, designing, modelling myself. I am working with the past to create a new me. Inch'allah it will lead somewhere. Are you happy, then?

Car Free Day 2013 in DXB

Today is officially Car Free Day in Dubai.

With my sustainability background and my personal ideas on traffic management in urban environment, i silently congratulated the UAE government for taking such a great initiative in a city like Dubai where cars are deeply anchored in the urban planning and mentalities.

I focused on the article over my breakfast tea, nodding with interest, until I realized that this day was actually...today. Well done for planning, dude. I do not have a car of my own yet (my impressions on driving here will come later, surely) and I had not planned to move from my chair unless to take a stroll in the Marina. I just fell suddenly powerless and even useless, and I wondered how many people were actually aware of this day that is generally well followed in European cities such as Copenhagen. I did not see or read any outreach campaign online, while it would be supported in public offices, shops, schools, public transports, or even in the streets...elsewhere.

The article mentions that "In the last year’s campaign over 3500 vehicle owners did not use their vehicles resulting in a reduction of 10.5 tons of carbon emission." Fair enough, it is already a good thing as a principle. However I just wonder not only how they actually managed to monitor such a number, but also how relevant it can be: car pooling/sharing is not common, and you generally only have one person per car (which possibly means 2 to 3 cars per household). In my mind, this means that only a few have responded to the Car Free call.

It also reminds me a very interesting conversation with my friend Jenni on cycling in the Middle East. In her blog The Urban Observer she discusses the potential for cycling in Doha, which is pretty much next door. Following the article we were a few to exchange on cycling options in the region. My main concern was that while there are theoretically opportunities, public interest and governmental money to develop pedestrians- and bike-friendly infrastructure, the urban culture (and its bad deviations such as the obvious lack of security and awareness,  and the urban planning itself) unfortunately does not make it a realistic option in Dubai. And I do miss my good old second-hand Danish bike to go from one part of the city to another.

Am I also the only one to see blood on the car sign rather than something more friendly and engaging?!

EDIT, Th. 14/02 (= the day after):

• The result came in a pretty nice but unnoticed copy-paste of last year's results: "over 5000 vehicle owners did not use their vehicles resulting in a reduction of 15 tons of carbon emission" . 1500 more cars that were not used. Not much in view of the total, but already a progress.
• Just before going to bed, i told hubbie "you know what, it's Car Free Day in Dubai". His answer was pretty enthusiastic, I know he shares the same ideas on the matter. "Oh nice, when is it?" I smiled. "Today". "Oh. Well. I had no idea". Exactly my point.

Rising sun, Dirty windows

One thing...

One thing telling you that you are merging into a new life in the Middle East: you do not hear the Prayer Calls anymore. When I moved, I would hear it clearly, I would even open the window and stay on the balcony as long as it lasts, eyes closed. Now the song is evaporated in the air before it even reaches my attention.

"but as a woman, are you allowed to go out?"

Following the first questions and usual clichés one can have on the Middle East, here comes the heavy layer of gender-related questions. I am not saying I am a pro of what the ME is and what the society rules are, but i have heard a lot of questions that make me smile every single time. I have also heard my load of annoying comments, but I understand as well that such a region raises a lot of questions and much curiosity, particularly from European friends and relatives who have not had any international/multicultural experiences.

So here is a little compilation of the best I had to comment about:
- "as a woman, are you allowed to go out?"
- "can you actually go out alone?"
- "are you allowed to drive?"
- "how do you dress up then?"
- "how do you do when you go to the beach (if you're even allowed to!) or to the pool?!"
- "do you actually have a life on your own, i.e. without your husband?"

I carefully have to restrain a laughter and think about the words I have to use to express the right ideas. Western people tend to be negatively critical regarding gender balance in the region, and it is also true from an internal point of view that there are obvious differences that would raise the hair on a feminist's head. How to be critical without being judgemental is always hard.

"Yes, I do have a life of my own. Yes i can go out, i can wear a bikini on the beach, I can even drive on my own. You know, you probably confuse with Saudi Arabia where indeed women rights are much lower and restrictive. Dubai on the contrary is pretty open and not as conservative as other Emirates, probably because of the high percentage of Western expats and tourists here.

For instance, where I live, in the Marina district, it's no problem to wear shortpants and flip-flops, but yes, i would probably avoid wearing the same when going into more conservative parts of town, or when I have to be around alone in the city. It's not really a question of safety, but more of being considerate and respectful to local customs, I would do the same in any other regions in the world. As a comparison I would probably dress up much more conservatively in Paris, you know, to avoid all stupid sexist comments that I would get anyway, just by being a woman ..."

"But are you feeling safe here as a woman?"

This question somehow brings me back to all these times where i was nervous walking alone as a woman, holding my bag tight, or raising the volume of my MP3 so that I would not hear insults, and thus in France...

"As a Western woman i actually feel safe here, yes. You know, no one really wants to end up in jail here for stupid reasons, i don't even want to think of the livin conditions there...and people are generally deported from the UAE after the time in jail so they cannot make any mistakes..."

"Ah ah ah yes, and you get your wrist cut as well, right?"

There I present a nervous rictus but I do not answer. Engaging in a discussion on human rights and possible religious-based extremism would start a never ending story that i qualify "black vs. white", "evil vs. good", generally going into "islam vs. the rest of the world".

"You know, when I make the choice to move to another country in another region in the world, I do my best to adapt the local culture and local customs. I am not there to criticize the local religion or beliefs, and I am not planning on challenging the society and its order. I am feeling safe, yes, but I would not have in mind to wear very short clothes and thus go against what is considered here as correct. It's called "being respectful"."

"And do you know many people there?"

This question is probably the most passive-aggressive question that i have been asked so far since i moved to the UAE last summer. It does not mean that people got enclined to know how low my social network has been so far, but rather whether i am merging well in a complete new setting where theoretically women do not have a place (seen from outside of course). I know this comes with very warm intentions and positive concerns, but asking the same question again and again often reminds me that my friends are not here.

"Yeaaah i do know some people, of course through my husband, but I really like them and i think we're bonding  quite well. But of course things will move on as soon as I find a job, I mean, I did not really meet anyone while I was telecommuting for 6 months. I know things will change as soon as I actually have a proper office life, it's not like I can really meet people elsewhere."

And do you know any locals?

"Well not really actually, I mean of course you'll mainly find expats in Dubai, and you actually mean them in a regular social context. I've met some at the gym, but you can't really connect while doing aerobics or pilates..."

So what do you do then when you don't work?

This question generally comes straight after the social life one, as people generally get stuck with the Disneyland impression. Yes it's easy to spend money in Dubai, and i cannot count the number of kilometers i've walked through the Dubai Mall, Mall of the Emirates and Ibn Battuta Mall. No i did not go skiing, and i haven't seen a real camel race yet. Yes i've seen pinguins, i've seen the Palm, but dune driving in the desert makes me sick.

It's February, and i start realizing that I am lucky, even spoiled, to be here. I might regret it when the summer heat strikes back, but until then, the sky is blue, the sea is darker blue, and smoking a shisha with a friend as the sun goes down over the Wavebreaker is priceless.

"And it's not too hot there"?

The logical follow-up of the previous conversation is to discuss about the weather.

I've been used to discuss weather items since my stay in Denmark, as weather-talks are probably the most common generalist discussion starter you can have with introverted Danes. At first you really wonder why you discuss about the clouds, rain and snow; this goes however until it becomes a part of you, until you can recognize the different degrees in cold wind and "chill factor" in winter, until you can control your bike in slushy snow. Then you just rock the weather-talk.

I move on then in the "how is Dubai" conversation:

"Oh well, you know I actually moved to Dubai in the middle of the summer in June, and it was very hard, like 45°, even 48° one day, i can tell you this was super tough for me to manage! Seriously man, for few months the temperatures here were twice higher than in Europe, crazy! I also like rain, wind, clouds, and here it's been always blue sky! Moreover, I just moved before the Ramadan, so no right to eat and drink in public, by this temperature i got sick couple of times, i almost collapsed once outside!" (a bit exagerated of course but that's what people want)

"Once in a while i even got so excited to see clouds that I would even take pictures to prove it!":

"But you know, as soon as it's winter, it's actually getting fresh, stormy and even rainy! (here it's time to face your friends laughing at you using the word" cold") You even need to wear a jacket at night, especially because we're close to the sea, and it's super common to get the flu around! It can easily snow on the mountains in the desert, and here, when it rains, their evacuation systems are so not used that it's common to have floods in the streets! I'm even not talking about how people drive, they have no idea how to behave when it rains, so they often get stuck in the water, not even mentionning all the accidents around!"

Another time I take my phone out of my pocket to illustrate my point with another picture:

My husband justifies the fact that I am cold these days by a satisfactory answer: I am obviously getting used to the weather here. It sounds good indeed, especially considering that i have lost my heat-related swollen figure. But to be honest, I am already dreading the coming summer. Not that i plan to remain at this level, but being a housewife when you cannot be outside is hell. Being housewife itself (when you do not feel to be one) is no real fun actually.

"So, do you like it?"

This is probably the question i was asked the most by my friends and relatives regarding my new life in the UAE, directly next after "So, how is Dubai?!".

Within the past months I think i have developped a fairly standardized answer that  i can adapt and place randomly in any conversation at home without too many troubles. I have said this answer so many times that I sometimes had the impression i was trying to convince myself, after all if you repeat the same things again and again you tend to believe in them as well:

"You know, Dubai is a very nice but special place, i think it's kind of a good mix between the Arabian Nights, Disneyland and Vegas (approving nods of the audience, it's easy to undersand as such). I mean, technically speaking the place is not 100 years old, and the city is just out of the desert, there should be nothing there normally.

Yes, i leave on a tower. It's like, what, 5 minutes max to the sea, and we have i think 5 or 6 pools for a block of towers, which is very nice. No gym, but you can go running in the Marina. Do you want to see a picture?"

and there i hand out one of my Instagram shots of the bedroom's view, which generally generates impressed comments:

"I live on the 28 th floor (same impressed nod), it's quite impressive of course, and it's always worth considering emergency measures. I mean, technically speaking i am not really sure the towers follow right safety standards, they are built so fast here. For example there's been a fire in a tower nearby (JLT end of 2012) and the fire went up so fast. I also have a massive crack on our living-room wall, no seriously, if we decide to stay longer i'm thinking we should move somewhere else! One day it will all look like Inception, remember when the buildings are collapsing in the sea, in his dreams?"
(here i laugh nervously, thinking of the false fire alarms that kept us awake in the middle of the night last week).

JBR nowadays



My idea of JBR in 100 years

Addressing the housewife life

When my husband and I first discussed the idea to move to Dubai after couple of years spent in Scandinavia, i clearly said "I am not moving there to become a housewife". After all, i had a job I liked (I just had been promoted), a great group of friends and colleagues, and a place that i turned into a peaceful cocoon.

a year and a half and a wedding later, i decided to take a big step and join him in the UAE and thus say goodbye to my relatively quiet and risk-free life. Me, the "non-housewife" girl, turned into one as soon as my residence permit got approved. It was there, clearly stated in my visa: I was a housewife, amongst all of those who made it a lifestyle choice and those who did not really have a choice.

After 6 months tele-comuting with my previous company, i finally reached the moment when my contract ended. Strange to turn a far-away page after 4 years in the same company, but technically one of the best moves I made to finally move on and look into the future in the eyes with no regrets.

I am now in the phase where  my "housewife" status is particularly real considering i could only spend my day going shopping, drinking a coffee in JBR or even just doing nothing if i really wanted to. But  I still don't feel like one, and I am looking for a job at the moment. Kinda. I mean, I should be calling agencies rather than writing this article, but it's also good to express oneself once in a while. And I am of an optimistic nature, I believe things will be fine if you keep your head up and that all happens for a certain reason. Inch'allah like they often say here.

So here are some insights on "my expat life" as a housewife in Dubai, hoping to share with you my experience as well as some tips that i hope will be useful to others!